5 Things About Park Slope Parents That Make Me Cringe

Let me preface this post, (i.e. rant) by saying that I LOVE our neighborhood. Park Slope is pretty spectacular. The parks, the brownstones, the restaurants, the shops... you name it - there's a LOT to love. Perhaps that's why it has grown to be one of the most popular neighborhoods in Brooklyn - particularly for young families. What I am not a fan of however, are the typical Park Slope parents. Here's a brief overview of what drives me batshit insane about them - and a reasonable rationale for why we will likely be moving when our lease is up:

1. Taking up the entire sidewalk. I'm talking about parents and who walk in walls of three or more and/or entire families congregating together in herds disabling anyone from passing without stepping into the street. In the 'wall' scenario, usually one or both parents are texting while the kid haphazardly darts from one side to another, not even allowing for someone to pass on either side.

2. Kids on scooters. I cannot even tell you how often I see kids nearly run over innocent pedestrians' feet. I understand that Park Slope is a very kid-friendly environment, which is lovely and adorable even - but if your kid is on scooter racing down the sidewalk at breakneck speeds, please ensure that they know to look out for other human beings and to avoid hitting them AT ALL COSTS. They do not own the sidewalk, despite what you've led them to believe.

3. Kids in bars. I'm sorry - but a dimly lit bar is NO PLACE for a child. I don't care if it's Sunday at noon. Your kid doesn't belong in a bar where there are no tables for brunching and where the only food that is served is done so to cushion the blow of the massive amounts of booze hitting the stomachs of the mostly childless patrons. There are PLENTY of family friendly establishments all over Park Slope where you can order your child an appropriate breakfast, brunch or lunch and where you might even be able to imbibe something not so kid-friendly yourself.

4. Strollers the size of Mini Coopers. Seriously - when did it become not only acceptable but encouraged to wheel around a "stroller" that is larger than most people's bathrooms in NYC? Restaurants and boutiques are limited on space here, so parking one of these veritable vehicles inside of a busy restaurant is downright inconsiderate. They don't fold up, they are not, (by stroller standards) compact - and patrons and staff cannot maneuver around these things and nor should they have to. Taking up standing room for six on a crowded subway with one of these is also not acceptable, especially if you're carting around just ONE child.

5. An apparent and questionable hatred of ice cream. No, I'm not kidding. Pick your battles people and learn how to say NO.