by Leigh Hope Fountain 11:54 AM 2 comments
I realize this is the BEST POSSIBLE THING for Little G, and it's why I'm doing it.
Yes, it is a lovely little bonding thing, and yes, the health benefits for her are tremendous - no denying. It also helped me drop the 18 or 19 lbs. I gained during pregnancy practically overnight.
That said, we are just about 6 months in now... and I'm not gonna lie - I am getting very tired of walking around with comically large breasts. I was huge to begin with, (around a 36 DD or E or some nonsense), and now I'm walking around with a 36 G. A G!!!
I recently took a day trip to D.C. for work. Literally - a day trip where 10+ hours were spent traveling and about 3 hours were spent at an awards luncheon. I bought a hand pump for the occasion to bring with me so that I wouldn't wind up painfully engorged. Guess what didn't work? It was a nightmare. So there's the discomfort factor too - and carrying around an electric pump the size of a lunchbox that weighs about 5 lbs and has too many components to make it truly transportable sucks - as does feeling comfortable pumping in a public women's restroom with other women waiting on line to pee. Needless to say - this was bad planning on my part, and I won't be doing that again.
Back to the preposterous size of my boobs:
I am 5'2" tall - and while I'm curvy and not exactly small-boned, these breasts are officially disproportionately large on my person.
It is NOT okay.
I'm getting to the point where I am getting ridiculously self-conscious about it - especially as the weather warms up and I'm having to shed more layers. I also hate nursing bras. Yes they are convenient - but they're slightly padded adding even more insult to injury.
Of course, I'm going to hang on for 12 months of this, (so about another 6.5 to go), but the second I hit 12 months, I am done. D-O-N-E. done.
Then, I'm going to examine my breasts every single day like a neurotic does, to see if they're shrinking back down to their pre-pregnancy size, (which was already a bit too big). I'm not exactly sure how long I'm supposed to allocate to this. A month? Two months? In any case, if they don't at least go back down a few cup sizes, (preferably 3 although I'll take two), I'm seriously contemplating a reduction. Once again, good thing I work for the best plastic surgeons in the entire world at the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS).
Speaking of ASAPS - I'm heading to Vegas shortly for our Annual Meeting, and I'm supposed to attend a cocktail event where I'll need to dress appropriately. Tonight, I'll be rifling through my closet to see if I even own anything that will fit over my massive mammaries. If not, I'll be doing some shopping this weekend and daydreaming about October, which seems very far away at the moment.
Thank God I have this adorable drooly little distraction!