Those who have been reading this blog from day 1 know that I lost one of my pups just days after finding out I was pregnant. It sucked. I was so excited about the pregnancy and so sad about my pup, but I got through it. Wasn't the ideal way to start out a pregnancy - but life tends to work that way sometimes.
Last week, I was celebrating being 6 months in and that much closer to the third trimester. Posted a silly belly pic on Facebook and was feeling pretty damn great about life in general. Then over the weekend, Anna, our other pup started showing signs that her congestive heart failure is getting worse. We took her to the vet. They did X-rays which were inconclusive - but the vet suspected that there might be some fluid in her lungs, so she sent the films off to a radiologist. Not good.
I suppose we had gotten a bit cocky. She was diagnosed almost a year ago - and honestly, unless we told you something was wrong with her, you probably wouldn't even know. I am convinced that she is the happiest, loviest most playful little pup in the whole wide world. (Don't argue). She is literally my sunshine, so to hear that wheezy cough again was heartbreaking. Again however, with her condition - this kind of thing is to be expected. We had just forgotten.
Part of me appreciates this balance in life. After all, how on earth can you appreciate/relish the good if you've never dealt with any bad? It's why I can reflect on the rather icky things that have happened to John and me and appreciate the takeaways. We've grown stronger, we've become better people as a result... so in a way, the bad is good, right???
But, when it comes to Anna, the thought of losing her sends me into a complete tailspin, especially after losing Otto less than a half a year ago. To lose two pups while pregnant would be just plain awful. (One was bad enough,) and to be honest, I'm not even sure I can fully function without an adorable pup in my life anymore.
After losing a night of sleep and crying on-and-off for the better part of 24 hours, I realized that I had to somehow calm the hell down again - for the baby's sake.
Which is why, when we got the call from the vet at 8 p.m. tonight, I had already braced myself for the worst. I was fully prepared to hear that there was indeed fluid in her lungs and that her congestive heart failure was beginning to worsen in a much more pronounced manner... that it may only be a matter of time at this point until her heart gives out completely, etc. I won't go into the gory details, but let's just say that congestive heart failure doesn't do pretty things. I hate thinking about it. All the more reason I was so relieved to hear the vet say that there was no fluid buildup and that yes, her heart is a bit larger and there are a few other little issues, but nothing monumentally bad.
Whew. Thank God! Anna's gonna stick around for a while. I really can't wait for her to meet little G and vice-versa. I mean, look at these two! They're gonna be fast friends.
0 comments: