I realize this is the BEST POSSIBLE THING for Little G, and it's why I'm doing it.
Yes, it is a lovely little bonding thing, and yes, the health benefits for her are tremendous - no denying. It also helped me drop the 18 or 19 lbs. I gained during pregnancy practically overnight.
That said, we are just about 6 months in now... and I'm not gonna lie - I am getting very tired of walking around with comically large breasts. I was huge to begin with, (around a 36 DD or E or some nonsense), and now I'm walking around with a 36 G. A G!!!
I recently took a day trip to D.C. for work. Literally - a day trip where 10+ hours were spent traveling and about 3 hours were spent at an awards luncheon. I bought a hand pump for the occasion to bring with me so that I wouldn't wind up painfully engorged. Guess what didn't work? It was a nightmare. So there's the discomfort factor too - and carrying around an electric pump the size of a lunchbox that weighs about 5 lbs and has too many components to make it truly transportable sucks - as does feeling comfortable pumping in a public women's restroom with other women waiting on line to pee. Needless to say - this was bad planning on my part, and I won't be doing that again.
Back to the preposterous size of my boobs:
I am 5'2" tall - and while I'm curvy and not exactly small-boned, these breasts are officially disproportionately large on my person.
It is NOT okay.
I'm getting to the point where I am getting ridiculously self-conscious about it - especially as the weather warms up and I'm having to shed more layers. I also hate nursing bras. Yes they are convenient - but they're slightly padded adding even more insult to injury.
Of course, I'm going to hang on for 12 months of this, (so about another 6.5 to go), but the second I hit 12 months, I am done. D-O-N-E. done.
Then, I'm going to examine my breasts every single day like a neurotic does, to see if they're shrinking back down to their pre-pregnancy size, (which was already a bit too big). I'm not exactly sure how long I'm supposed to allocate to this. A month? Two months? In any case, if they don't at least go back down a few cup sizes, (preferably 3 although I'll take two), I'm seriously contemplating a reduction. Once again, good thing I work for the best plastic surgeons in the entire world at the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS).
Speaking of ASAPS - I'm heading to Vegas shortly for our Annual Meeting, and I'm supposed to attend a cocktail event where I'll need to dress appropriately. Tonight, I'll be rifling through my closet to see if I even own anything that will fit over my massive mammaries. If not, I'll be doing some shopping this weekend and daydreaming about October, which seems very far away at the moment.
Thank God I have this adorable drooly little distraction!
Leigh Hope Fountain
As anyone reading this blog regularly knows, our little Gypsy hasn't been a great sleeper and has basically insisted on sleeping on us the vast majority of the time. We have accommodated her and I even trained myself to sleep on my back on the COUCH in order to do so - but I know this is NOT smart for a multitude of reasons. Namely:
- Anything can happen when you're sleeping and I can't be entirely sure she's protected. She could shift her position and wind up smothering herself. We all know this would be very, very bad. I don't need to go into great detail.
- I don't sleep well this way. In fact, I'm not entirely convinced I do any real sleeping at all this way. No sleep = crankypants.
- It isn't good for her. I mean come on - she's got to learn to sleep like a normal person at some point. At first we resorted to a swing - a lovely rock n' play that everyone raves about. It worked - kind-of... in that she'd sleep in it for short stints, (maybe an hour - two if we were really lucky), then wake up and demand the chest again. Again, not good for her and not that great for us either.
- My husband and I hadn't slept in the same bed for three months. THREE MONTHS. We slept in shifts. One of us was always on the couch with her and the other in bed. After a while, I realized it was easier for me to just stay on the couch most of the night. My left shoulder started hurting... a lot. It sucked. Again, no bueno.
After three months of this nonsense, we realized something had to give.
At her two-month well visit, our pediatrician told us to begin sleep training. We looked at her like she had just asked us to sacrifice our baby to the devil. No way! Too young. I asked my Facebook friends what to do and got a mixed bag of responses. Many condoned sleep training. Others didn't. It was totally helpful and totally not because at the end of the day - I realized we had to do what was right for us and our daughter - because when you're a parent - you have to turn off the noise of everyone else's opinions and make your own.
That isn't to say the info I received wasn't helpful. It TOTALLY was. In fact, I did a ton of reading based on those recommendations and everyone else's experiences and ultimately, it helped me come to a conclusion with my husband one full month later:
It was time to sleep train this little girl.
And so we started. In fact, I believe we've now been on this quest for 9 days. Today will be day 10.
Good thing too, because we started about a few days shy of her three-month "birthday" and had just received an email from our pediatrician warning us about the failure to sleep train by three months. It was incredibly, incredibly ominous. Honestly, it sent a shiver down my spine.
Ultimately, we went with some type of sleep training that isn't quite as harsh, (I guess), which was more or less the Ferberization method.
Don't get me wrong - this method is still no picnic. You put your baby in the crib after a bedtime routine - and walk away - letting him/her cry it out for small increments at first - and gradually increasing over the next handful of days. You can go in and comfort your little one during those 5, 10, 15 min. increments but cannot take them out of the crib. As any mother will tell you - this goes against every cell of your being. Your instincts and hormones are BEGGING you to free your child from the confines of its baby jail. BEGGING. It is torture.
Anyway, I quickly realized that the so-called 'comforting' your baby didn't do much in the way of comforting - at least not with ours. Sometimes, it would make her cry louder and really dish out some of those desperate cries - the ones that brought me to tears. After about 3 or 4 days - we decided to truly let her just... cry it out.
And it worked! Each day, the crying lessened in both intensity and duration to the point where she would barely cry on-and-off for a little while each night. Then she regressed and had a really bad night of almost non-stop crying for two hours. I texted a smart girlfriend about it. She offered sage advice and told me to stick with it. I did - and cried with my daughter - but in the next room where she couldn't see or hear me. After a week + of this, I wasn't giving up. Last night was a huge improvement again. Not only is she not crying that much - but she's now regularly napping in her crib too - without much of a fuss. In fact, there was only a brief 10 minute crying fuss fest last night when we put her to bed - and then she slept pretty consistently until 3:00 a.m. - when she woke up for a feeding. Then she went right back to sleep - in her crib - without any fussing whatsoever. And then she did that again at 6:00 - slept pretty soundly until around 10 a.m.
It was AMAZING.
So, I guess this opens me up to all kinds of criticism for being a heartless parent - for ignoring the needs of my child and putting my own needs first. Well, trust me when I tell you naysayers - Gypsy is sleeping better, is noticeably even happier, much more active and playful and we are MUCH better parents, because we are SLEEPING. Sleep is precious. I have never been a fan of it, until it was pretty much taken away from me for nearly three months. Now I have a brand new appreciation for it entirely.
Leigh Hope Fountain
(Wrote this about a week ago - so dates won't make sense).
Over the past month or so, I've asked my husband exactly two questions about his
take on this whole resurrected Star Wars craze. (You've heard of it,
right)?
1. Does it bother you that every-other-commercial features Star
Wars and that you can't throw a stick without it hitting something Star
Wars-related?
2. Did you hear what Lucas had to say about the new movie?
And if so, I want your pre- and post-viewing opinion.
This line of
questioning reminded me of why I fell for John Brian Fountain in the first
place.
(This is a demented love letter, so be warned).
Let's
start with John's answers:
1. No.
Why I love this: John is,
without question, a die-hard Star Wars fan. He loves every single movie. He
doesn't bitch about any aspect of a single one of the first six made... EVER. He
loves them all. He hasn't yet seen the seventh, but he will be (finally)
tomorrow and I am very excited for him. I also think it's a phenomenal way to
start the first day of 2016. I wish I could go with him but I can't and in a
way, I almost think it's better. It's just him and the movie. That's it. No
distractions.
2. Yes.
For those of you that didn't hear,
apparently Lucas is a bit disappointed that the story isn't as
relationship-focused as his vision for the franchise was always supposed to be
-akin to a family soap opera.
Back to John's answer. (Bear in mind that
I am paraphrasing and probably not doing his explanation/opinion
justice).
John: Yeah, he sounds a little bitter, but I don't blame
him.
Me: But he CHOSE to sell the franchise - after he probably made a
fortune just from licensing to Disney for their theme parks and what not - not
to mention countless other profitable licenses.
John: Yes, but he
probably sold it somewhat reluctantly. For the past 10 years, he's had to put up
with incessant slamming and vitriol coming from the same people who worshipped
the first trilogy.
Me: Yes, but he chose to try to be successful in
Hollywood and SUCCEEDED and anyone who goes down that path has to know that
they're going to have to deal with a combo platter of love and hate. It goes
with the territory.
John: But he couldn't have predicted that this world
he'd create would have such a monumental impact... globally - and that decades
later upon the advent of the Internet, he'd be subjected to an endless onslaught
of hatred - in the form of outright insults to accusations that he has ruined
people's lives to wildly offensive parodies. And not just online - in person
too. That has to get to him. For there to be this hateful backlash to the world
that HE created, to have to live with never being able to live up to every
single fan's expectations... it can't be easy.
Me: Jesus. You're totally
right. I guess I don't blame him for being a bit bitter either. So do you think
you're going to like the new movie?
John: Yes.
And I hope to God
he does. And I hope I do too, because my husband is totally 100% correct. George
Lucas CREATED this whole entire world that everyone is gaga for... until they
stamp their feet and decide that they could've written the latest screenplay
better. In the meantime, when you stop to consider the millions his creation has
had a monumental impact on, let alone the artists, filmmakers, etc. whose
imaginations were ignited by Star Wars, it's pretty preposterous that he even
has to deal with some of those same people raking him over the coals for
expanding that universe in a manner they deem inappropriate.
So here's
the thing. My husband's take on Star Wars is the same take he has on everything
he truly loves: He loves hard and deep and forever. That's not to say he
wouldn't admit it if he really hated any of the movies. He totally would... But
he really loves them - all of them...
... and it makes me love him more.
And he's Gypsy's dad. :)
Side note: People hated the ending to Lost, including me. I find it all
the more interesting that JJ Abrams directed the latest installment of Star
Wars.
Another side note: Since writing this, John did in fact see the movie on New Year's day and gave it a B+. I have no idea when I'll get around to seeing it. Probably not until it's on On Demand or something.
Leigh Hope Fountain
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