I have a weird obsession with names. I always have. I'm sure it's in large part due to the fact that I hated my own name until I was old enough to appreciate it. Definitely had to grow into it as they say. By the time that happened, I was also lucky enough to find a man with a cool last name that made my first and middle sound even better, so I married him and did just that. If I hadn't liked his, I wouldn't have changed mine. I've always been of the opinion that you should keep the better sounding name. Call it superficial, call it what you will, but I'm not a traditionalist and I'm not really religious, so for me, it was just a personal preference - and now I'll readily admit that I thoroughly enjoy being complimented on my name. It happens fairly frequently too. It's not too terrible to be outright arrogant about it because it wasn't my doing, right? It was my parents' and my husband's. They gave me the gift of my name and I adore it.
My parents gave my brother a kickass name too. His name is Hayes. How cool is that? If anything, I grew up to be a bit jealous thinking his name is cooler than mine. He also got the better eyes, but I digress...
Anyway, I'm so obsessed with names that I actually knew what our daughter's first name would be long before we even decided that we were definitely going to kid. I've been protective of this name... sharing it with only a select few, fearing that it would inevitably become incredibly trendy overnight were I to share it with someone a little too mouthy.
As social media continues to proliferate and word truly spreads like wildfire, my fear has become even more pronounced - or at least it had - until I finally realized how lame my thinking is here.
Ultimately, names come and go, trendy or not. I've also come to recognize and fully accept the rather polarized reactions we receive when we do disclose the chosen name to friends, family and colleagues. Some flat-out hate it. Others utterly adore it - and certainly there are those who are in-between or simply too afraid to tell us that they're not fond of the moniker. Regardless, we love it, we're not changing it - and we hope she loves it too. If she doesn't, she can be the one to change it. We won't hold it against her, (at least not for long).
If it winds up on a top 10 list, so be it. I guess I'll just have to congratulate myself for finally coming up with something that people respond to. Thing is, I don't actually think there's any real chance in hell of that happening. The name is a bit polarizing because there are unfortunately still a number of negative associations with it, which I think is an absolute shame because of how beautiful I think it is. I have spent ample time trying to think of other names I might like to bestow upon on little girl more and I can't come up with a single one. I'm done trying. This name resonates with me on so many levels:
- It's sort-of strange, but not so left-of-center that it isn't palatable.
- It's girly, (and the trend this year is for non-gender-specific names, so yay for lessening the chances of it becoming popular on that front).
- It's cute but not sickeningly so - and in my opinion, straddles the fence between cute and sort-of mysterious/sophisticated. (In other words, balanced).
- I totally love it. In fact, I'm obsessed with it.
So it's decided. Her name is:
Gypsy Valentina Fountain
Leigh Hope Fountain
For Gwendolyn.
Leigh Hope Fountain
For reasons I'm not going to bother blogging about (because your eyes will glaze over), I started a second registry today at Target and discovered that little G is due in 99 days. That's less than 100, (in case you hadn't figured that one out yet), and while it's technically another 14 weeks, to me, it's really just over 3 months (and barely) - to prepare for her arrival. I've been told it will fly by. I'm not buying that, because I'm starting to feel huge and am consequently having trouble sleeping, suffering from incessant heartburn and hating the NYC summer heat, which makes the days seem torturously long. I wish it would fly by. I'm anxious for her to get here and I'm already over being pregnant.
That being said, I realize that 99 days isn't much - and I have to get this registry nonsense figured out now.
I have interrogated numerous friends, including Eva, who recently had a baby herself and who has likewise been tremendously helpful in the 'What works, what doesn't, what is actually necessary/vital?' department and I am incredibly indebted to her.
Despite countless such interrogations, I was looking at my first registry on Babies R Us and realized that there just isn't much on it. Mind you, I'm not even sure who's going to be purchasing anything for us other than our parents anyway, given that we're not throwing a traditional baby shower, (it'll be a virtual one just like Eva's) and given that we live a gagillion miles away from the vast majority of our friends and family. Nevertheless, we figured we'd give this a whirl anyhow. If nothing else, it's a good way to keep track of what we need and don't yet have.
At first, I was totally cocky about the whole baby registry thing thinking - you know... we really don't need that much stuff. We're probably going to be moving in a year and don't have room for a full baby furniture suite in this apartment anyway, so that's out. We really just need a few basic things. You know, like a mini-crib, playpen-type thingy, one of those bouncy chairs... and we'll be good-to-go. Oh - and maybe we should get a diaper pail too. Nobody likes stinky diapers. But really - that's it. We'll keep everything to a bare minimum, because we do live in NYC after all, and there just isn't room for anything extraneous.
Oh, were it only so easy!
Now that I've had time to properly assess the whole 'What does little G' need thing? The answer is, EVERYTHING. Or it seems like it anyway.
Honestly, I had absolutely no idea what a complicated, time-consuming and altogether annoying task developing a baby registry would be. I mean - just look at the Babies R' Us "Must Have" list. It's fairly lengthy for a list of what they're deeming to be must-haves. This is their interpretation of what a bare-bones list of necessities is. Now, I realize, this is a huge money-maker for them and convincing parents to-be, especially first-timers like me that they need everything is good for business... but I mean, come on! A hooded bath towel is a must have??? Somehow, I think little G will live without one.
Anyway, I begrudgingly now have two separate registries and I'm still not done figuring out what little G really, truly needs.
How many diapers do they go through in a week?
Leigh Hope Fountain
Those who have been reading this blog from day 1 know that I lost one of my pups just days after finding out I was pregnant. It sucked. I was so excited about the pregnancy and so sad about my pup, but I got through it. Wasn't the ideal way to start out a pregnancy - but life tends to work that way sometimes.
Last week, I was celebrating being 6 months in and that much closer to the third trimester. Posted a silly belly pic on Facebook and was feeling pretty damn great about life in general. Then over the weekend, Anna, our other pup started showing signs that her congestive heart failure is getting worse. We took her to the vet. They did X-rays which were inconclusive - but the vet suspected that there might be some fluid in her lungs, so she sent the films off to a radiologist. Not good.
I suppose we had gotten a bit cocky. She was diagnosed almost a year ago - and honestly, unless we told you something was wrong with her, you probably wouldn't even know. I am convinced that she is the happiest, loviest most playful little pup in the whole wide world. (Don't argue). She is literally my sunshine, so to hear that wheezy cough again was heartbreaking. Again however, with her condition - this kind of thing is to be expected. We had just forgotten.
Part of me appreciates this balance in life. After all, how on earth can you appreciate/relish the good if you've never dealt with any bad? It's why I can reflect on the rather icky things that have happened to John and me and appreciate the takeaways. We've grown stronger, we've become better people as a result... so in a way, the bad is good, right???
But, when it comes to Anna, the thought of losing her sends me into a complete tailspin, especially after losing Otto less than a half a year ago. To lose two pups while pregnant would be just plain awful. (One was bad enough,) and to be honest, I'm not even sure I can fully function without an adorable pup in my life anymore.
After losing a night of sleep and crying on-and-off for the better part of 24 hours, I realized that I had to somehow calm the hell down again - for the baby's sake.
Which is why, when we got the call from the vet at 8 p.m. tonight, I had already braced myself for the worst. I was fully prepared to hear that there was indeed fluid in her lungs and that her congestive heart failure was beginning to worsen in a much more pronounced manner... that it may only be a matter of time at this point until her heart gives out completely, etc. I won't go into the gory details, but let's just say that congestive heart failure doesn't do pretty things. I hate thinking about it. All the more reason I was so relieved to hear the vet say that there was no fluid buildup and that yes, her heart is a bit larger and there are a few other little issues, but nothing monumentally bad.
Whew. Thank God! Anna's gonna stick around for a while. I really can't wait for her to meet little G and vice-versa. I mean, look at these two! They're gonna be fast friends.
Leigh Hope Fountain
My girlfriend from way back when, Dani Gillman, is a hardcore advocate for children with Autism, including her own adorable little girl.
When Dani discovered that her daughter's school had basically eliminated all three of the special education classes from the yearbook due to a "printing oversight" she was livid - and decided to get vocal. (I don't blame her).
http://blog.birdhousehq.com/why-the-special-education-classes-were-excluded-from-the-yearbook/
For me, multiple aspects of her story struck a chord, especially as I get closer to becoming a parent myself. In her blog, Dani asked, "Do your kids read and re-read yearbooks all the time, too?!"
I thought, well, I don't have a child yet, so I really don't know... But what did I do with my yearbooks?
Oh yeah... I recalled and recoiled from the thought simultaneously. At one point in junior high, I erased my photograph from one of my yearbooks entirely. Yep. That's right. I erased it, leaving only a smudgy white box. I thought I looked so hideous that the photo should never have been printed in the first place, and I wanted to more or less, delete it.
I think about this now and I have very mixed emotions. In a weird way, I'm happy that I did it because I'm now forced to deal with the regret surrounding it and can tell my daughter what a mistake it was to erase a piece of my history and how terrible it was that I ever felt that way about myself to begin with. I want to use it as a tool to teach her that you need to embrace who you are no matter what, and that one day, you'll appreciate all the childhood photos of yourself, even if you're not a fan of them now.
But, thinking about this also made me sad, because it occurred to me that Dani's daughter wouldn't have even had the chance to hate and possibly erase her yearbook photo had Dani not raised hell over it with the school. Fortunately, the company that printed the yearbooks will be doing a reprint, so Dani's daughter will have that keepsake. It still doesn't resolve all of the issues surrounding the debacle in the first place though, nor does it undo the school's repeated failures to utilize this instance in a beneficial manner that could've had a markedly positive impact on the entire student body, but at least she'll have her yearbook. Hopefully she won't go erasing anything (and I doubt she will), but clearly she still won't have the opportunity to engage in one other important yearbook-related tradition that Dani and I both happily did when we were in junior high - exchange autographs and goofy little K.I.T. notes, like the one pictured here that Dani herself wrote for me in my own yearbook in the 8th grade at Portola Junior High. I love that she said, "Don't forget me," as if I could!
Anyway, the scenario at Dani's daughter's school is a tough pill to swallow. It never should've happened - and while it was a mistake, it should've been managed and handled very differently, especially since multiple occasions were presented to do so.
But perhaps most importantly, nobody should ever be erased from a yearbook, for any reason.
Leigh Hope Fountain
A friend and fellow bloggess, Aly Walansky, posted this article on her Facebook page the yesterday - and she asked, "Is this article meant to be as ridiculous and hilarious as it reads? Am I just an evil human?"
No Aly, you are by no means evil. You are an unspoiled realist who understands the absurdity of this story. Sadly, I don't believe it was intended to be even remotely ridiculous or hilarious, and it makes me happy that I 'sacrificed' my Elle Décor subscription not that long ago - in an effort to save money because my husband and I can barely afford to have one child and yet we are about to embark on that little adventure.
This woman is clearly beyond deluded. Living off of canned goods for an entire year and buying consignment? Oh holy heavens, no! The horror! The sacrifice... and all in the name of having a "luxury dream home and only two children!" This woman clearly has no understanding whatsoever of the sacrifices that people make every single day just to afford the basic necessities, let alone keep a roof over their heads. This whole article is so preposterous I almost don't even know where to begin.
And so I guess I'll begin with me, because I think I kind-of have an interesting perspective here. Despite having been raised upper-middle class in the San Fernando Valley in a rather large and beautiful home with a pool, stunning views and a driveway to house the latest luxury vehicles, I watched my parents lose virtually everything on more than one occasion, and by the time I went off to New York University on a partial scholarship, I was informed that I would basically need to work full-time while in school full-time in order to afford it. Sacrifice? I don't effing think so. Reality is more like it. Despite unforeseen financial circumstances and one hell of a recession, I still got to go to NYU - a prestigious private university on the other side of the country. While we were not wealthy, I still benefited from what can only be described as considerable privilege. There was no sacrifice.
When I got married, my husband and I both started new jobs and bought a house within two weeks of the wedding. It was a lot to take on all at once, but we were incredibly excited. Never in a million years did we see the Great Recession coming, or we wouldn't have bought a house to begin with, but lo-and-behold it did - and we managed to lose our modest little home that we put plenty of hard-earned money, blood, sweat and tears into. In fact, we spent the last Christmas in that house with no heat and no presents under a tree we didn't have - just a ton of boxes packed and ready to go as we had succumbed to a short sale, and a lot of unknowns in our lives. We had planned differently - but as they say, "The best laid plans..."
Anyway, we picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and we started over. We moved into a tiny one bedroom apartment. We had about 50 garage sales prior to the move to empty the contents of a 3 bedroom house... a house that I thought we'd eventually have a baby in.
Still, I didn't see this as a sacrifice because I saw value in the numerous lessons it taught us, like preparing for the worst, learning how to live with a lot less and prioritization. I get the distinct impression that this woman has little to no understanding of those things.
A few years later, my husband and I decided we needed a significant change. One of two things would happen. We'd either get me knocked up and stay in Los Angeles for a few more years, or I'd manage to find a job in another city and we'd make a big move in the hopes that our careers would change for the better. (They had sort-of stagnated in L.A. and we spent a lot of time wondering how we'd afford a child, let alone ever make any progress on any front there). I ended up with a job offer in NYC and we spent every last dime we had to move. Little did I know that another major life lesson was on the horizon. I'd be fired after just three weeks.
Sacrifice? Again, no. Life lesson? YES! It was terrifying, but ultimately great. My husband was finishing up a freelance gig, but now I had no job in one of the most expensive cities in the world - and I was supposed to be the "stable" one. Yet again, we figured things out! I networked my arse off and despite numerous panic attacks, got interviews and landed a good job. For a while, we barely had enough money to feed ourselves and our two pups, let alone stay on top of our mounting bills. We borrowed money where we could, I sold jewelry and clothes, and John sold memorabilia to make ends meet. Sacrifice? I guess... though I imagine it pales in comparison to the sacrifices some people make in order to feed their families - like working 2+ jobs and barely sleeping just to get by.
This woman with her luxury dream home and her two children who claims to have made a "huge sacrifice" barely knows about the meaning of that word. I barely know about the meaning of that word, though I suspect I might have a better inkling than she does.
I am 5 1/2 months pregnant, and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't worry at least a little about how we will afford things for our one child. We have cut back or eliminated everything we can in an effort to save. We are planning to move into a less expensive apartment when our lease is up next year. We know our little lady will not be going to private school - nor will she be living in a "dream home." My husband and I never took a honeymoon, nor have we ever gone on a full-fledged vacation in the 11 years we've been together - and we don't see one in our near-future. We have spent 5 years getting back on our feet - and still are. We don't buy unnecessary items, we cook virtually every meal at home and we feel guilty about how we don't have disposable income to run off to California and Michigan to visit our parents. I consider getting manicures and keeping regular hair appointments the ultimate luxuries.
Nevertheless, I consider us blessed to be where we are today. We live in one of the nicest neighborhoods in Brooklyn. We have made some great new friends. We love the life we've set up for ourselves here and are very excited that for the first time in our lives, we feel good about bringing one new little life into this world. We know it won't be easy, but we'll make it work - because that's just what you do.
This woman feels that she has made a "huge sacrifice" by opting to only have two children and to keep her luxury dream home in lieu of a third child that she now wants. This is not a sacrifice. This is a choice that she made to live in a house that for most people, will always be a dream and not a reality. I would venture to guess that this woman could manage to "afford" a third child if she really truly wanted to, by actually giving up a few things here and there, but she doesn't. She has prioritized the luxury dream home over a third child. There is no huge sacrifice. End of story.
Leigh Hope Fountain
I've recently started the daunting task of creating a baby registry. Little did I know when I launched into this endeavor, that it would raise about a zillion questions that I simply don't have answers to. (Don't get me started on baby bottle sizes, nipples, inserts and materials, or the 50 billion different types of blankets you apparently need for receiving, swaddling, burping, shielding your naked breasts from view while feeding, etc.). It's exhausting.
Anyway, when it came to diaper bags - here's what I knew before I even began looking:
- It needs to be lightweight.
- I need to be able to cram enough stuff into it to make it more valuable than a backpack or my regular handbag. In fact, it should replace any/all other bags. Who wants to carry more than one bag? If being pregnant has taught me anything thus far, it's that pragmatism and simplicity are key.
- It needs lots of pockets and compartments for the organizationally inept, like me.
- Ideally, it will be black so it matches everything and doesn't get dirty easily. (I live in NYC, things get dirty quickly here).
- It needs to be versatile and fit on the back of the stroller.
- My husband has to like it since he'll be pushing the little kiddo around a lot.
- A crossbody would be frickin' awesome for when I'm not using the stroller because then my hands are free for I dunno... things like the baby?
A number of my friends who currently have babies have recommended Skip Hop. I was actually about to register for one, when a lovely package arrived on my doorstop - and guess what was inside?
A Skip Hop diaper bag - but not just any Skip Hop diaper bag - their new Duet 2-in-1 Diaper Tote and ohmygoodness this thing is like the mothership of diaper bags!
It's actually two bags in one, as the name suggests - a giant, lightweight faux leather (pleather) tote with cute perforated details and a durable nylon crossbody insert that can be removed and worn alone or strapped to the back of the stroller. In fact, both bags can be fastened to the stroller. It has a lightweight changing pad and numerous other bells and whistles, (see below) that already have me convinced that this will be my dedicated go-to for traipsing around the city. It's the perfect day-to-day carryall and the perfect carry-on for plane and train travel. YAY. One registry problem solved, about 50 to go.
Here's an overview of what this phenomenal bag contains:
- Four exterior bottle pockets
- Two interior pockets
- Dedicated cell phone pocket
- Innovative turnlock secures the Crossbody inside the Tote
- The Crossbody has zip top closure
- The Tote’s clip closure can also hold keys or toys when not in use
- Adjustable shoulder strap clips to either bag
- Both bags are equipped with stroller straps
- Includes cushioned changing pad
- Size (inches) 19l x 6.5w x 14h
It's like Skip Hop somehow got their hands on my diaper bag wishlist, made sure all of my wants were addressed, and then threw in a handful of other perks, because they're smarter than me and have my back.
Thank you Skip Hop. XO
Leigh Hope Fountain
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