Just Call Me Hobbit.

I've never had great feet. At 5'2", I'm a size 8, (large considering I'm vertically challenged) and my feet are flat and wide. As such, I live in heels. They add height, they give me an arch, they hide the excess foot length/width to some extent and they're just plain pretty. Also, I'm well-trained. I can practically jog in them - even in New York City.

Alas, I think those days will soon be behind me - at least for the duration of my baby-baking days.

At only 4-months pregnant, my feet are already turning against me. They're definitely quite swollen and I believe they're already a 1/2 size bigger. Now remember, they were too big for me to begin with - now it's just getting comical.

I am starting to resemble a hobbit, sans foot fur, though who knows what lay ahead?

I thought it might have been water retention or a blood pressure issue, but nope. Everything is clear. I'm healthy - blood pressure is totally in check, (110/70) I haven't put on more weight than I should have by now, (about 7 or 8 lbs.) I'm following a low sodium diet and drinking plenty of fluids - mostly water. Apparently, there's not much I can do to control this. I'm doomed. I hear whispers of crocs and flip-flops and my face forms a frown. Seriously, the thought of flats or anything that isn't flattering to my already-too-large feet depresses the living hell out of me.

I know I shouldn't be bitching, (after all, I didn't even have morning sickness), but seriously my feet have always been a problem and I'm sick of it. I've broken three toes on separate occasions,(shattered the big toe which I would advise avoiding if you can) and just last year had surgery to repair a hammertoe that was so painful I could barely wear shoes, heels or not. So, I'm sort of feeling a slight sense of entitlement in terms of hosting my own little bitch-fest about my feet, now that I'm plagued by yet another podiatry problem.

While my husband has affectionately called me his "Little Midget" since one of our first dates, I'm thinking that that might have to change as I quickly morph into a creature that Tolkien himself probably didn't think existed in real life. "Little Hobbit" seems redundant. Just call me Hobbit.