"Huge Sacrifice" and "Dream Home" Shouldn't be in the Same Sentence

A friend and fellow bloggess, Aly Walansky, posted this article on her Facebook page the yesterday - and she asked, "Is this article meant to be as ridiculous and hilarious as it reads? Am I just an evil human?"

No Aly, you are by no means evil. You are an unspoiled realist who understands the absurdity of this story. Sadly, I don't believe it was intended to be even remotely ridiculous or hilarious, and it makes me happy that I 'sacrificed' my Elle Décor subscription not that long ago - in an effort to save money because my husband and I can barely afford to have one child and yet we are about to embark on that little adventure.

This woman is clearly beyond deluded. Living off of canned goods for an entire year and buying consignment? Oh holy heavens, no! The horror! The sacrifice... and all in the name of having a "luxury dream home and only two children!" This woman clearly has no understanding whatsoever of the sacrifices that people make every single day just to afford the basic necessities, let alone keep a roof over their heads. This whole article is so preposterous I almost don't even know where to begin.

And so I guess I'll begin with me, because I think I kind-of have an interesting perspective here. Despite having been raised upper-middle class in the San Fernando Valley in a rather large and beautiful home with a pool, stunning views and a driveway to house the latest luxury vehicles, I watched my parents lose virtually everything on more than one occasion, and by the time I went off to New York University on a partial scholarship, I was informed that I would basically need to work full-time while in school full-time in order to afford it. Sacrifice? I don't effing think so. Reality is more like it. Despite unforeseen financial circumstances and one hell of a recession, I still got to go to NYU - a prestigious private university on the other side of the country. While we were not wealthy, I still benefited from what can only be described as considerable privilege. There was no sacrifice.

When I got married, my husband and I both started new jobs and bought a house within two weeks of the wedding. It was a lot to take on all at once, but we were incredibly excited. Never in a million years did we see the Great Recession coming, or we wouldn't have bought a house to begin with, but lo-and-behold it did - and we managed to lose our modest little home that we put plenty of hard-earned money, blood, sweat and tears into. In fact, we spent the last Christmas in that house with no heat and no presents under a tree we didn't have - just a ton of boxes packed and ready to go as we had succumbed to a short sale, and a lot of unknowns in our lives. We had planned differently - but as they say, "The best laid plans..."

Anyway, we picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and we started over. We moved into a tiny one bedroom apartment. We had about 50 garage sales prior to the move to empty the contents of a 3 bedroom house... a house that I thought we'd eventually have a baby in.

Still, I didn't see this as a sacrifice because I saw value in the numerous lessons it taught us, like preparing for the worst, learning how to live with a lot less and prioritization. I get the distinct impression that this woman has little to no understanding of those things.

A few years later, my husband and I decided we needed a significant change. One of two things would happen. We'd either get me knocked up and stay in Los Angeles for a few more years, or I'd manage to find a job in another city and we'd make a big move in the hopes that our careers would change for the better. (They had sort-of stagnated in L.A. and we spent a lot of time wondering how we'd afford a child, let alone ever make any progress on any front there). I ended up with a job offer in NYC and we spent every last dime we had to move. Little did I know that another major life lesson was on the horizon. I'd be fired after just three weeks.

Sacrifice? Again, no. Life lesson? YES! It was terrifying, but ultimately great. My husband was finishing up a freelance gig, but now I had no job in one of the most expensive cities in the world - and I was supposed to be the "stable" one. Yet again, we figured things out! I networked my arse off and despite numerous panic attacks, got interviews and landed a good job. For a while, we barely had enough money to feed ourselves and our two pups, let alone stay on top of our mounting bills. We borrowed money where we could, I sold jewelry and clothes, and John sold memorabilia to make ends meet. Sacrifice? I guess... though I imagine it pales in comparison to the sacrifices some people make in order to feed their families - like working 2+ jobs and barely sleeping just to get by.

This woman with her luxury dream home and her two children who claims to have made a "huge sacrifice" barely knows about the meaning of that word. I barely know about the meaning of that word, though I suspect I might have a better inkling than she does.

I am 5 1/2 months pregnant, and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't worry at least a little about how we will afford things for our one child. We have cut back or eliminated everything we can in an effort to save. We are planning to move into a less expensive apartment when our lease is up next year. We know our little lady will not be going to private school - nor will she be living in a "dream home." My husband and I never took a honeymoon, nor have we ever gone on a full-fledged vacation in the 11 years we've been together - and we don't see one in our near-future. We have spent 5 years getting back on our feet - and still are. We don't buy unnecessary items, we cook virtually every meal at home and we feel guilty about how we don't have disposable income to run off to California and Michigan to visit our parents. I consider getting manicures and keeping regular hair appointments the ultimate luxuries.

Nevertheless, I consider us blessed to be where we are today. We live in one of the nicest neighborhoods in Brooklyn. We have made some great new friends. We love the life we've set up for ourselves here and are very excited that for the first time in our lives, we feel good about bringing one new little life into this world. We know it won't be easy, but we'll make it work - because that's just what you do.

This woman feels that she has made a "huge sacrifice" by opting to only have two children and to keep her luxury dream home in lieu of a third child that she now wants. This is not a sacrifice. This is a choice that she made to live in a house that for most people, will always be a dream and not a reality. I would venture to guess that this woman could manage to "afford" a third child if she really truly wanted to, by actually giving up a few things here and there, but she doesn't. She has prioritized the luxury dream home over a third child. There is no huge sacrifice. End of story.