I read this article right before going to sleep the other night and wound up in tears.
Why? Well, a handful of reasons actually.
1. Fear. Part of me has NO clue what on earth I'll do with a child I cannot relate to, so when I first started reading this I was wondering how I'd feel if I were in this woman's shoes. The more I read though, the more I felt there was no chance in hell I'd have such an adverse reaction to a child who did things differently. If anything, I think I'd encourage it. As I read further, I was horrified about her attitude towards and dislike of her first daughter and instant adoration of her second.
They're different people. They can't all be carbon copies of you! Get over yourself. But even as I thought those thoughts, part of me wondered how I'd react if I had a child that I truly couldn't relate to on any level whatsoever - and felt guilty for a split-second about being such a judgy little bitch, even before I'm technically a mother myself.
So, I tried to understand. In a way, I was relieved when this mother discovered that there was a reason for her child's seemingly 'abnormal' behavior, It turns out her child had a growth hormone deficiency which actually accounted for a variety of her child's mood, appetite and growth-related issues. But what if absolutely nothing had been clinically 'wrong' with her child? What if that were simply just the way her child was? She was relieved to have a diagnosis for a condition that was treatable - but what if it wasn't? At first she felt relief - but then she felt guilty because her daughter was suffering. What about feeling guilty about not liking your child - regardless of the reasons why?
The more I read, the more I found that I was hard-pressed to sympathize with her. It's not like her kid was exhibiting signs of becoming a potential serial killer down the line. Her kid just wasn't as social and bubbly and strong as her other child. So what? (There's that judgy bitch in me again). But here's the thing... I don't think I will be this judgy when it comes to my own child because she'll be my child. Does that mean she can do no wrong? Of course not! But if she's just different, regardless of the reasons why, I will embrace her no matter what. Even if she is different from me in every imaginable way, I can't imagine feeling repelled by her as this woman did. Besides, if she's vastly different from me that will probably be a good thing, because I'm no picnic.
2. The husband's letter at the end. How this man defends his wife is an exceptionally beautiful thing - and it made me feel guilty for judging her all over again. Ugh. I can't win!
3. I'm pregnant. I cry a lot more now.
*Side note - the pic has nothing to do with this blog. Just a cute onesie that is now on my wishlist for Little G.
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